TO GET TO YOU - ( 1/11 )

[octavialao]

Title: To Get To You
Author: Power Ranger Red Sho Nut octavialao

Pairings: Sakumoto

Genre: Angst, Romance
Length: Multi-chaptered

Summary: Jun left Sho. He can't blame him though. It was all his fault. But he wants to see him again to get him back.

The sunlight feels warm upon Sho’s face, but somehow it didn’t warm him up. He slowly opened his eyes, but the light blinded him. He shifted in his sofa, away from the sunlight that leaked through the window. It was the only light that illuminates the whole room. He sat up and felt the dryness in his throat. He reached for a bottle in front of him. Lift it and brought it up in to his lips. But it was empty. He once again reaches for another bottle, and another, and another but it seems all 20 bottles were empty. In frustration he kicked the glass table in front of him. He looked around, and it was a complete chaos. Bottles of wine, whiskey, beer were everywhere. All his clothes were scattered everywhere. The whole room reeks, the smell of vomit and stale food overwhelms his nose but never even bothered to clean up. He had to admit he was never this wasted before. It’s been a month. A month that his apartment felt bigger. A month that his apartment felt colder and felt lonelier. It’s been a month since he left him all alone. Sho wished that he could turn back the time, If only he had taken the train. If only he had thought of him first. His mind is flooded with possibilities, answers to his “what ifs”. He was lost in his thoughts, thoughts of him. The time they spent together, the time his laughter was like music to Sho’s ears, the time that being in his embrace, Sho felt warmth. It was always him that he thinks about. It was ONLY HIM. Lost in his thoughts, a phone call jerks him back to reality.

“Hai? Ah, manager-san. Hai! I’ll be there in 30 minutes.” He hangs up, sighs and got ready for work.

Filming took longer than scheduled. He kept on messing up with his lines. Sometimes he was dumbfounded, spaced-out and unaware of what was happening on the set. He was brought back to reality when the director finally snapped at him. It was the first time that Sho was told off on set. Even his bandmates were surprise and were worried to see this kind of Sho. Sho being a professional, he always does his best, even if he is tired, or sick he never let it get in the way while working. But today was different. He really felt useless and he felt like everything was worthless. They went back to their green room. And Aiba, wearing a worried face sat next to him.

“Sho-chan, did you sleep well last night? Do you still eat your meals?” the frowning Aiba said to Sho. While he sat beside him in the sofa “You look like a malnourished zombie!”.

“I’m fine Aiba-kun, just tired. Shooting ended up at 3am in the morning so I had a few hours of sleep.” Sho answered.

“Okay, but you were spacing out the whole time on set. Are you sure you had your breakfast before going here?”

“had a sandwhich on my way.”

“Really? How about last night? Did you eat well?”

“Aiba-kun really, I never skip a meal in my life! You know me, I love to eat and I eat almost anything!”

“Yeah! You’re a glutton but since he left you never paid attention to any food that is in front of you. Bet you don’t even remember what you ate last night.” Nino butted in.

“Sho-chan, I’m worried, we all are. Please take care of yourself.” Aiba said with a concerned face. “Please? And you’ve been drinking too much every night! It’s not good for you.”

“I can take care of myself, and I have been taking care of myself. No need for all of you to get worried!.” Sho replied irritably.

“Sho-chan I know your sad and lo..”

“I AM NOT! WHO EVER SAID THAT I’M SAD AND LONELY?”

“Sho-chan.. I.. “

Sho stood up and screamed, “Shut up Aiba! Did I ever ask for your concern/ Stop butting your nose on someone else’s life!”

Aiba froze, shocked by Sho’s outburst. “Gomen ne Sho-chan.” With a tear in his eyes Aiba went out the green room.

“He was just worried, you know that right? Are you going to push him away as well?” Nino said in a firm voice and went out to follow Aiba.

Sho felt mad, not at Aiba but himself. He buried his face in his hands. Riida, who was just sitting across Sho stood up and sat beside him and patted his back. Sho felt a little better. His Leader rarely speaks. He doesn’t need to let Sho know that he can count on his leader anytime. And Riida never brought up that topic about him. But today, Riida stood up and faced Sho.

“Sho-kun, stop it. Please, stop being stubborn.” Ohno said in a stern voice.

Sho was surprised by his Leader’s firmness. That was the first time Riida said such a thing to Sho. Ohno stared deeply at Sho’s dark and sunken eyes and said.

“We all know that you’re not in the condition to keep working. Take a break. Aiba was not over-reacting when he said that you look like a zombie.”

“But Satoshi-kun, I’m okay. I can’t take a break because our schedule is packed. Still got a lot of things to do and..”

“Did you ever learned?” ask Ohno.

Sho was confused by Ohno’s question. He could not quite grasp it then as if Riida could read his expression quickly said.

“You’re forcing yourself to work. That’s one of the reasons why he left you right? Is really work more important than him? Important than yourself? Sho-kun you’re miserable because you did that to yourself. I thought you would realize that soon, cause I know you're smart. You never heard anything from me. But Sho-kun, now you’re just sinking deeper in the mud you created.” Ohno turned away and grab his bag. “Sho-kun, take a break and find yourself first.” And Ohno went straight to the door.

Sho couldn’t say a word. He was taken back by Ohno’s words. Riida who was quite, gentle natured and have never spoken ill words to anyone. But now, he provoked him to say things that were hurtful, but soon he realize was true. Yes, Ohno was right. Ohno’s words slap him in the face. It was true, he was the one who made him go away. Was he really that dense only to realize it now? He felt a warm and wet tear escape his eyes, rolling to his cheeks to his mouth. Sho felt a pang of pain in his chest. He remembered his face, the face that he wanted to see and to touch, the face that belongs to his love. He wants to see him badly. He missed him so much that drowning himself through alcohol was the only thing Sho thought that could make him forget. But he never did, even in his dreams all he ever see is him. He regretted it, every waking hour since he left. As his tears races across his face, all he could mutter was.

“Jun..”