TO GET TO YOU - ( 10/11 )

[octavialao]

Title: To Get To You
Author: Power Ranger Red Sho Nut octavialao

Pairings: Sakumoto

Genre: Angst, Romance
Length: Multi-chaptered

Summary: Jun left Sho. He can't blame him though. It was all his fault. But he wants to see him again to get him back.

“Jun.” Stephanie hugged me tight. I’m sitting up on the bed. She hugged my waist and her face buried on my back.

“It’s still early babe. Sleep.”

“I want to be early for the therapy session Stef.”

“Oh, we could enter the 10 am session Jun, it’s still early. My body doesn’t want to get up.” She shifted and sat up. She crawled beside me and lays her head on my shoulder.

“You said the office needs you at 9?.”

“Yea, but I don’t want to.”

“Honey? Stef? You need to go.”

“what about you? You can’t go alone you know?”

“I’ll be fine. Just drop by the hospital ang I’ll take it from there. There are hundreds of nurses in the hospital. They can assist me.”

“I’m not comfortable not being with you.”

“I’m fine. Okay? And besides, you need to work too. Since I can’t you have to or we’ll starve! And lately you been putting on weight and YOU’RE always hungry too.” I teased her and chuckling at the same time. She groans loudly, punched me in the arm and throws herself to the bed. She bounced and she immediately wrapped her arms to her stomach.

“Ah!”

“w-what are you okay? Did you hurt your head?”
She sat up hands still on her tummy. She shook her head and smiled to me lovingly. She stood up and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

“I’m okay. I’ll go and prepare your bath. Then I’ll prepare breakfast okay?” She beams at me and walked towards the bathroom. I watched her go till she’s inside. I then picked my phone that was sitting on the bedside table. I keep on fumbling as I type the words. When I’m finished, I took a moment to send the text mail. I was having second thoughts. But I know in my heart I want to see him. I want to tell him, I want him to know.

By the time I sent the text Stef emerge from the bathroom motioning me to take a bath. She stride to my side, I put down my phone on the table where I picked it up earlier. She helped me hoist myself up to the wheel chair and guided me to the bathroom.

After I’m finished taking my bath I called her for help. She has already prepared my clothes and our breakfast. After helping me change she reels me into the kitchen. The house smells of French toast, omelet and coffee. She sat beside and keeps on spoon feeding me. I chuckled at her and she insists on feeding me.
“Stef? I’m not a baby. And I just can’t move my legs. But I can move my arms and hands.” I said to her sarcastically. She whines.
“But I want to feed you honey! Can’t your girlfriend take care of you and feed you with love?”

I find it surprising. Stef was extra clingy and needy these days. She’ll panic if she doesn’t know where I am. She often spends her time making those paper dolls that were made by fans and made it look like me, and the rest of the members of Arashi. I look at the shelf where all those paper dolls were. She already made 20 of them. Most of them are me supposedly, dressed in my solo song costume in concerts. They were cute I must admit, and they do resemble us. But that’s the thing, they resemble us especially one in particular which I couldn’t take my eyes off. She noticed where I’m looking and looked at me.

“Aren’t they cute? And resemble you and the others!” She chuckles. I look at her and grinned.
“Well, yes they are cute but why do you have such liking to them?”

“Honey, I told you they’re cute and I love anything that is DIY. And aren’t they perfect for children?” She beams at me with so much happiness and love. I never saw her that happy, the twinkle in her eyes was just genuine bliss.

“I guess they are.” I smiled again and continued to devour my food.
When we’re finished Stef cleared the table. She was holding the glasses when she lost her balance and tumbles forward. The glasses shattered and she falls sitting on the floor head leaned on the fridge.

“Stef! Stef! Are you okay?” I had inched my way to her in my wheel chair. She regained her consciousness and looked up at me.

“I-I’m okay. I just got dizzy that’s all.” She smiles weakly at me. She tried to get up and I held my hand out to her as support. She accepts it and stood up slowly.

“How clumsy of me. Now I have to clean this up.” She steps forward but she was shaky and almost fell once more. I was still holding her hand and I pulled her into me as she regains balance.

“Don’t move just yet. You’re still dizzy. I think you should stay home today and rest. You’re obviously not well.” I told her and I placed my hand on her forehead to check her temperature. I made her sit on my lap. She hugged me and nozzles her nose on my neck.

“I think I should. Can Ijust drive you to the hospital?”

“Okay, take a rest first.”

“Okay.”

After a while, we head out. When we reached the hospital she insisted that she will accompany me inside. I had a hard time convincing her not to. There were nurses ready for my aid. I was telling her that I want to be independent, that I want to do it myself. She knows that I hate to be bothersome to people. With much effort to convince her, she agreed. She left me in the lobby. She made me promise to call her after the session.
After making sure that she had already left the building and heads home. I took out my phone and texted him to tell him I’m on my way. Since it’s a hospital, getting a cab was easy. The driver was kind enough to assist me to hop in to the cab. He placed the wheel chair on the compartment. The wheelchair stuck out a little but the driver insists that it’s okay.

We arrived in the train station where I asked him to meet me. Again the driver was so kind to help get off. I paid him double than what I had to. He refused to accept the money but I insisted. So we went on ways and wheeled my way to the station. The trains were a little old fashioned, and the trains were unlike the bullet trains in Tokyo. I bought a ticket and ushered myself in the platform. I see many people around the platform but not as much as the other stations. Then I saw him waiting at one of the benches in the platform. Head down, elbows on his knees while his hands are knitted together.

Obviously he was waiting for me for quite some time. He was doing that upward movement with his right leg which he does when he is waiting and pissed. I couldn’t see his face. I had the urge to cry, for a moment I forgot that the station was full of people. Because at that moment all I see is him, all I can hear is my heart beat racing.

“Sho.”

His head jerked up and looked at my direction. He stood up almost immediately. His face was contorted upon seeing me sitting in the wheel chair. He motioned to me, and as the distance grows shorter the more my heart aches. His eyes were puffy and red. I wonder if he was crying last night.

“Jun, hi.”

“Hi.”

He fidgets, unable to speak. But I can’t blame him, I texted him, out of the blue without telling him why. I myself is unable to speak as of the moment. I’m too overwhelmed by the distance. I almost want to reach out and touch his face.

“Jun, ano.. I was wondering. What is it that you want to say?” He looks at me, eyes worried and teary.
“Sho, let’s go on a trip.”

“Eh? But, I actually have work later.”

“Please? Just this once Sho.” I pleaded with my eyes. “Just this once, please.”

I can see the hesitation in his eyes. He’s weighing in the effects of this decision. And I know he will not agree to this. But I reached out for his hand. He shivered, at the contact. And I knew this is all I need to convince him.

“Sho, please. I’m asking you just time. Please? I beg you Sho. I know this request is senseless but please? Can you grant this request just this once?” I pleaded, tears almost on the verge of falling. I really want this trip to happen. I want to be with Sho.

It’s now or never. I need to do this. I’m determined. I have to win him back now.

The inside of the train resembles the set we used in Bittersweet pv before. That’s why when we filmed the pv, we had a tough time containing ourselves. But this trip is different than before. A lot has happened, and a lot has changed. We weren’t the same person who rode this train before.

I was sitting where the window is on my left, and Sho on my right. He is sitting upright very stiff and still. I can’t help myself and chuckled when I saw his discomfort. I find it very adorable. He looks at me and forced a smile, he was nervous I can tell. I simply placed my hand on his that was resting on his lap. I can feel him shiver again. I wonder if he was also longing to touch me like I was longing to touch him.

“Do you remember the first time we ride this train?” I asked. He looks up for awhile and turned to me and nods.
“You slept through the entire ride.” I chuckled a bit. “that was the time I proved my theory that you can only sleep on moving vehicles.”

“Huh? I do not. I sleep on my own bed.”

“Correction Sho, you do not sleep on your bed. You take naps. An hour shut eyes doesn’t count as SLEEP.”
“No. You’re wrong. I do sleep on mu bed. More than an hour!”

“But less than 2 hours. Come on Sho. We did once lived together on the same roof. Now looking back, I wonder how your body could take it. You’re tired as it is with work, then we do our little thing at home and still you can go on. Are you on steroids or something?” I asked him sarcasticly and laughed at his expression.

“I’m not on steroids, okay? I’m just a workaholic. And besides, that “Little thing” isn’t little for me. It’s special.” He looked away from me. I could feel my face turn red.

“I’m not sure about that Sho. I always felt that it was just a “thing” you enjoy. But if you would ask me, it was special for me to. To be able to touch you and be close to you is special and magical.” I hear myself say all this things with a bitter tone at the end. I took my hands away from him and leaned to the wondow.

I could see Sho’s disappoint to the lost of contact. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but clearly changed his mind and closed it again. We were quite for the rest of the ride. There was a distance between us, and I’m itching to lessen the gap. But my pride got the best of me. I was the one who initiated this trip, but clearly I was also the one who’s holding it back.

We arrived at the station and hopped off the train. We took a bus to get to our destination. It was tough to be on a bus, with a disabled guy and his wheelchair. But the people in that town were too kind an helped us. After 15 mins we got off the bus and walked towards the beach.

I knew about this place when I had a taping before for a drama. The location was serene, and peaceful. All of the townspeople were warm and welcoming. Some people here actually don’t own televisions that’s why many celebrities come here for a vacation, simply because, no one knows them.

“Sho, over there.” I pointed out a small villa near the shore. The walls outside were cream colored, the roof Blue that reflects the oceans color, and had accents of Red and Purple.

“That’s the villa we stayed in before am I right?”

“Yes it is, as expected. You memory never fails you.” I smirked. And Sho only shrugged but his eyes are glued to the villa as if he was going down memory lane.

We got in front of the porch and I produced a key. Sho’s face was curious. I bet he thought how comeid I have the key. Ofcourse I have it. Cause After we left here a year ago, I bought this villa. I turned the key and the door opened. I wheeled myself in an dhe caught up with me.

“This villa still looks the same the last time we came here.” Sho said eyeing everything inside.

“Yes.” I chuckled lightly. And then turn in to a hearty laugh. I couldn’t shake the image off my head. Sho looked at me amused as to why I’m laughing. I looked at him and laugh again.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just remembered something.”

“What is it?” His eyes frantic. And it made me laugh some more. He was oblivious and pouts.

“You’re adorable when you pouted your lips like that. It makes me wanna kiss you.” I said without thinking. Realization dawned to me. There was another awkward silence. I turn away from his face and fixed my gaze to the fireplace. I feel Sho moved closer to me and leaned his face to mine. And without a warning he brushed his lips to mine.

I felt electricity all over my body. I fought the urge to curl my arms to his nape and pull him much closer than we are. He gently pulled away and looked deeply to my eyes.

“Granted.” And he smiled lovingly at me. I feel all the blood on my face. I wanted more, much more. I looked down at my watch as if to check the time.

“ahh.. hmm.. it’s almost lunch time. I think we should make lunch.” This time it was him who chuckled in delight. My voice was shrill and shaky. I never thought he would initiate the kiss.

“Hai~” He went behind me and pushed the wheelchair I was in towards the kitchen. He stopped half way through and I looked back at him. He was pouting again. And I really find it adorable.

We managed to cook a decent meal. I already called the caretaker of the villa the day before to buy us supplies. Sho, as expected burned the first dish we made. But, he was perfect in the preparations. He cut the vegetables correctly. But the actual cooking still needs improvement. And I really find it funny that a 32-year old bachelor can’t cook for himself. We set the table together. And we sat down across each other.

“Itadakimasu!” I said as I picked my chopsticks. Sho looked at me and smiled.

“itadakimasu!”

Sho squealed in delight with his first bite. And he keeps on praising my cooking abilities.

“It’s very delicious! I miss your cooking very much.” She smiled bitterly at his food. I look up to him.

“It was just not the same when you left.” He just looked at the food in front of him and shook his head then continues to devour his meal. When I saw him in the dinner party for the movie, his cheeks were sunken, he was pale and clearly lost a lot of weight. I wondered if he starved himself to death.

“Let’s go to the beach after.” I offered. He nod and we continue to eat our meal in silence. I helped Sho clear the table. I insisted that I would also like to help in washing the dishes. He keeps on saying that he can manage.

“Jun, I can do it okay? You already cooked for us. And it’ll be difficult for you. Just let me do it.”

“Sho, it’s just washing dishes, I’m not gonna lift a car. And if it’s about me not being able to reach the sink, I can sit on the high stool.”

He looked at me and then to my legs. There was a trace of guilt and bitterness in his face that I soon hated. I know he’s still thinking about the accident and I’m sure he’s still blaming himself for what happened.

“Sho, please. Stop thinking like it’s your fault, cause it’s not.”
He looked away and started to run the water.

“It is. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have to jump to save me. And what happened to me? Only bruises and scars. What happened to you?” There was too much bitterness and resentment in his voice.

“Sho, it was my decision to save you. Not yours, so stop blaming yourself.” He turned to me

“How can it not be my fault? Jun, I have always been the man that inflicts pain to you. I broke your heart. Apparently, I also caused your fall, the fall that cost you your legs. My mere existence will only cause you pain and misery Jun. Why? Why? Did you save me? Why does it hav to be you whose suffering? Why not me?” His voice was loud and hurting. Tears were already forming in his eyes.

Sho has always been like this. He is hard on himself. He hates to be a bother to everyone. He hates to disappoint everyone. And with the accident he blames himself for everything. I reached for his hand which he curled into a fist. I stroked his hand trying to console him.

“Sho, accidents happen. It’s no one’s fault. I saved you because I want to. It’s because..” I paused and kissed his hand.

“It’s because, I want to save the man I love Sho.” His eyes were now full with tears, his nose and cheeks were red.

“but Jun I-“

“shhh.. come, let me hug you. Please?” He hesitates but moves closer to me. He falls on his knees and reached for me. I hugged him and he hugged me back. I could feel the tears in my shoulder as he sobs. We were holding each other for quite sometime. And I feel that he already stopped crying. I broke the silence and said.
“The dishes are waiting Sho. And the beach is calling us too.” He squirmed a little and he wiped his tears with his hand while still in my embrace.

“I’m washing the dishes. Stop complaining. I insist.” I nod and he pulls away. He wheeled me into the living room where he offered me some books to read. Sho was always the boyscout. He finished the dishes and we changed our clothes and prepared to bring some stuff to the beach.

“uwaaah! I love the sea!” Sho shouts facing the ocean.

“Me too. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the beach” I replied.

“I wonder if we can get tanned.” Sho said while fixing the big beach umbrella. Then he laid the beach mat and placed everything on it.

“Well, the sun is still up. I think you still can.” I smiled at him.

“Yea, you’re right. I should start now,” he winked at me then smirked. He tugged his shirt and slowly peeled it away from his body. And for a second he looked darkly in my eyes. Sakurai was being a tease, I know that look anywhere. I scoff and smiled at him.

“Sho! Don’t you think you need to apply some sun screen? Do you also want to achieve a perfect sun burned skin?” I laugh. And I dug on the bag I was carrying and produced a sunscreen. I throw it in his direction and he caught it.

“you know, I can’t reach my back,. I think you should help me apply this.” He smirked again. I couldn’t help but smile at this playful Sakurai Sho in front of me. I miss him. I gestured my hand t tell him to come to me. And he did.

“Turn around, I want to do your back first.” He turn around and fell on his knees for me to reach him. I applied the sunscreen all over his back and arms.

“Do you mind if you could also include the front part of my body?” there was a dangerous tone in his voice but I did what he wants me to do. He faced me and looks intently at my face while I was applying the sunscreen to his beautiful chest, down to his perfectly sculpted abs. I gulped at the sudden rise of temperature in my body. When I’m finished I pushed him away.

“That should do. Now go and get that tan.” But he closed the distance between us and leaned slowly till our face are on the same level. Then he drew his face closer, while staring at my lips. I felt hot again all of a sudden. I unconsciously closed my eyes.

I felt his arms on my back and legs. Then without a warning he hoist me up and carried me. When I opened my eyes we were going towards the water.

“Sho! Wht are you doing?”

“I’m not the only one who’s going to enjoy the water.” He beams at me. Then we hit the water. I encircled my arms to his neck and I cling to him as much as I could.

I can hear him chuckle and also wrapped his arms to my waist. Sho was keeping us afloat. Going deeper in the water. But I felt sfe and comfortable as I leaned my head to hi shoulder. The calmed water caressed us and rocked us. I miss this intimacy with Sho. I somehow turned into a little school girl whenever I’m with him.

“The water feels good.” I whispered.

“Holding you like this, feels good.” He replied. And he kissed my hair gently. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. We held each other feeling good together. I knew this wouldn’t last long.

“I think I should get you back to the shore. I don’t want you to get wrinkled because we’ve been soaked in the water for too long. And besides, I didn’t put any sunscreen on you.”

“Now you’re telling me. I’m already soaked. And You didn’t even mind to take my shirt off.” He chuckled.
“No, the shirt stays. Or else I might eat you.” And I blushed.

We were back on the shore and he puts me down on the beach mat. He dug two towels and gave one for me. We ate the food we brought and after we had fun collecting sea shells. He goes to the water and dives for pretty looking shells and gives it me. We even found shells with purple and red shade. Then we had fun playing on the sand. He buried me under it and made funny looking body parts.

It was already around 5 o’clock and the sun slowly sets. The view was spectacular. We were sitting on the sand. He was holding me, his head on my right shoulder and I leaned my back to his chest.

“It’s beautiful don’t you think?”

“Yes it does Jun. I hope it never ends.”

“Sho, I want to thank you for today, for coming with me.”

“You know, I was surprised when you mailed me. I just don’t know why you would mail me. I don’t not why you want to see me. But I’m just glad I did come.”

“I want to tell you something Sho.” He shivered. I can’t see his expression.

“What it is?” His voice shaky and I could almost hear fear. I shifted my weight and slowly broke from his embrace. I slowly tucked my knees near my chest. I exhaled and slowly lift myself up. When I got my balance up I slowly turn to Sho who was still sitting, expression shocked. I leaned down and cupped my hand on his jaw. I smiled and brushed my lips to his.

“I want you to be the first to see.”